Momma's rant

Our children cannot drink a bottle. period. end of story. 

>> please STOP suggesting that, "maybe they're just not hungry enough." 

I realize you're only trying to help & really don't know what to say. However, it'd be better if you said nothing at all, or "I am really sorry, that must be frustrating."

First of all, the girls are in a hospital; I assure you the doctors have calculated the correct amount of milk they should be drinking. There is a formula, based on their weight, height, growth patterns, etc... that allows them to feel full during their feeds and hungry 3 hrs later. 

Secondly, the girls are hungry at their care-times. They root around: sucking hands, blankets, arms, anything they can get their mouth on... they are eager for their pacifiers and even the bottle (in the beginning). 

A [healthy] full-term newborn is expected to eat minutes hours after he/she is born. Therefore, the suck, swallow, breathe sequence is an instinctive response. However, preemies (especially sick ones) are not given a bottle until much later in life. Our girls were born at 28 weeks; a bottle was not introduced until Blake was nearly 8 weeks old (36 weeks gestation) & Carly was 10 weeks old (38 weeks gestation). Everything pertaining to eating has been taught to them. Their suck, swallow, breathe patterns are not instinctual. Furthermore, the very nature of their birth is that they were premature, and thus, their bodies are underdeveloped [immature]. 

In addition to her prematurity, Caroline had a grade-3 brain bleed [and is doing exceedingly well]. She sleeps nearly 18 hrs a day. She needs the rest so her brain continues to develop appropriately. Because of this, she sleeps through some most of her cares. The nurses will not wake her to eat. She is on cue-based feeds only-- she will only be given a bottle if she is alert & showing interest. When she is given a bottle, she can drink 5-15 (out of 65) mls before she's exhausted. 

Blake 1 lb, 11 oz at birth; everything about her is small & immature. She has yet to develop the ability to swallow at the same rate as she sucks. This results in her choking, coughing, and drowning in milk. She does not have the coordination to combine the 3 tasks (suck, swallow, breathe). 

Lastly, the girls are now 47 [gestational] weeks old. At this age, they should (I know "every kid is different" -- do not get on me about this!) understand how to eat. We have tried everything we can think of: different nipples, different positions, different people, monomatry studies, reflux studies, formula only, milk only, less amount & more calories, feeding at different times, swaddled, and unswaddled. Occupational therapy follows them, physical therapy follows them, the feeding team follows them; the nurses, doctors, and nurse practioners are all aware of the problem..! 

We have hit a brick wall and have [unfortunately] started regressing. The girls are beginning to refuse the bottles before we can get them to their mouths & we are doing everything we can to avoid oral aversions. 

So, please, think before you speak... things aren't always as simple as they seem.